The Season of the Crone
Tis the season of the witch, the season of the spooky, a season for revelations, truths, transformation, reassessment, warmth and cold.In honor of my favorite season, here is a collection of thoughts, images, and moods that encapsulate my feelings during the fall.
Visual guide linked here!
I think fall is a season of life oddly enough. Understandably, fall begins the transition from abundant life to a winding down recovery. I believe the fall forces us to appreciate all the vivacious life we had around us previously. From the colorful blooms of flowers to the vibrant greens of leaves on trees, spring and summer are definitely months of pure abundance in the highest form. When you can see, feel, and repeatedly experience the world around you actively begin to retire for an extended period of time, it makes you or at least myself, gain a deep appreciation for how much time and effort it takes nature to bloom so actively. For myself, the fall begins a time of reassessment. I think towards the beginning of the year and consider everything I wanted to accomplish. I think about the decisions I have made over the previous months and how they impacted either positively or negatively. I consider the next year and what else I could before the year ends to set myself up for success. This year, instead of having arbitrarily goals for myself that I will envidely forget about or most likely fail due to their unsustainability and loftiness, I asked myself to consider a word. A single word which would guide me through 2023. This year I wanted to embrace risk and constantly ask myself, why not? Why not consider myself for this role, why not believe I can be anything, why not aspire for everything on my multiple visions boards across my walls. So I chose the word BOLD. I wanted to be cold and risky. I wanted to live as though I already have everything I needed and accept that I am already the person I need to be in order to have everything I always wanted. I think this worked for the most part. I won't lie and say I became a completely different person. However, I did evolve and grow. Being bold to me means accepting that I can live as authentically as I want to be and that is enough. While that may confuse some people or cause some people to question me or who I am, I have to be okay with letting people talk. For such a long time I lived out of fear of judgement and worry. I told myself "no, you need this in order to have that" or "once you have X person believe in you then everything will fall into place" or even "that person has this thing you want because of X desirability trait you MUST instill in yourself to get Y." It is exhausting to think like this because no matter how hard you try you will never be enough. There will always be someone smarter, prettier, or better equipped to do what you want to do or what you aspire to have for yourself and that is okay. Very select people were born with everything handed to them or life made to be easy and I was not one of them. So this year I asked myself to forget all the conditioning I have endured my whole life which forced me to be smaller and embrace the chaos and wonder that is purely self confidence and trust in alignment. I think I was and am fairly successful in this though not perfect.
“Fall is a season for life for me because I am reaping the harvest of my work throughout the year. I am reminded of all the energy I have brought into the world and most importantly the rest I need to recuperate and take care of myself. I love the fall because it is my season of abundance and love for the beauty of the world. I feel at peace and blessed. Fall is everything I could have asked for and I am overjoyed that it is also the season of celebrating my birthday and commemorating the year with family and friends. This zine is a peak into my heart and an exploration into what fall brings out in me.!!”