Always Aim for Beauty but Don’t Try Too Much or Else You Failed! ~ The CCK Vol. 2

Written By S.R. Cosmo

Before reading this week's CCK Post, I want to be open about where I stand on beauty. Firstly, shaming people for wanting to be beautiful never really works at convincing people to have more self-love/ acceptance. Two, I am plastic surgery/ cosmetic procedure neutral, meaning I do not believe either is inherently positive or negative. The results/ reason as to why people got work done/the impact on people who have not gotten work done has led to extreme and sometimes polarized opinions on beauty, both of which I agree and disagree. With that being said, I do think continuous conversations about the realities of getting work done, the potential risks involved, increased openness about why people feel the need to get work done, along with greater insight on selecting the right doctor for you (detecting scams or unsafe medical businesses) plus more aftercare awareness is not only life saving but critical for people's mental health. Third, people's desire to fit in is not going anywhere. While uniqueness is something that I will continue to champion and center as beautiful, it is also helpful to understand that there will always be people who do not want to stand out from others and prefer to be amongst the dominant beauty ideals. Fourth, beauty is complicated and nuanced. While it can be easy to fall into absolutes, that mindset can be limited and does not give a complete picture. Now, with that being said, let's get into this week's long ramble on beauty, media, and backlash. 

Something that has been on my mind lately is the fight to be beautiful. Specifically, the resurgence of the thin is in mentality from the early 200s transforming itself into gut health, beauty maintenance, and wellness bullshit. My thoughts on beauty are ever-evolving and nuanced. On the one hand, I see how all of it is pointless and a bad investment to give into, but on the other hand, I see how feeding into the desire to be beautiful can radically improve/transform someone's life for the better. That might sound ridiculous, but I promise you we have all seen it happen. Think about the recent Oscar campaign for The Substance, starring Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley. I remember in 2021, the uproar Demi caused as she walked for Kim Jones's debut couture collection for Fendi in Paris at the Palais Brongniart with an "interesting" look on her face. For days, everyone spoke about Demi's face and touted her appearance as celebrities being botched or getting too much work done. Looking back on this moment, I think about the shame that was laced with the backlash Demi received. It was almost as if people were punishing her for ruining the curated illusion so many public figures put on to mask how they are actually maintaining their beauty. People want to see pretty people, but they don't want to know what it takes actually to be beautiful, and on top of that, people don't want to acknowledge the vast amount of wealth, potential pain, and suffering that comes with chasing beauty.

Demi was shamed because she was trying for beauty in the wrong way! She was too obvious and "too old; therefore, she should have found other things to care about (/S)." Now, cut to 2025, and Demi starred in one of the most talked about films of last year, The Substance. The Substance is a film directed by Coralie Fargeat that follows "Fading actress Elisabeth Sparkle, who becomes distressed when her chauvinistic boss fires her from her aerobics show. She soon injects herself with a mysterious serum that promises a younger, better version of herself, but things go horribly wrong." While I have not seen the film and most likely will never see it as I hate horror movies, I did follow the discussions that followed its release. I think The Substance is a perfect film for our current culture as we have seen the rise of GLP1s transform from being something only prescribed to diabetics and an IYKYK drug for the ultra-elite to them being touted as a miracle drug for weight loss/maintenance for the everyday person (I mean, I see Hers commercials or ads on social media almost every day, and they are not the only company targeting weight insecurity). We have also seen the rise of facelifts for people in their 20s/early 30s become normalized as the filler has grown in popularity, the rejection of anything relating to DEI or inclusion policies, the economy intentionally being led to a recession coupled with fascism growing within all aspects of political discourse/legislation, journalism being actively censored, and rollbacks to civil rights/liberties across multiple intersections of historically marginalized communities (and that's just barely the start of everything!). The Substance is not a political film. However, beauty is political, and how we respond to people who do not fit into the dominant beauty standard and people who are seen trying to fit into beauty standards matters. Everything is connected, and hardly anything exists wholly on its own. 

Demi looks fabulous and has always been a stunning woman, but I couldn't help but notice how the discussion around her beauty has changed since 2021. Now she is an on-screen siren, an industry pioneer who is breathtaking to behold, and don't forget she is also BEAUTIFUL and the correct type of idealized white woman thin (effortlessly so)! I mean, does no one remember the viral vitriol she received not too long ago for aiming at beauty?  This constant cycle is maddening, and I cannot imagine the insane pressure or mind games so many women in entertainment experience, all in the hopes of achieving beauty! 

Listen, I have nothing against praising people's looks, and we should give more people respectful compliments when something about them sticks out to us in an appealing way. I just notice how we tend to cheer people on for being beautiful in a way that looks completely effortless and shame them when they decide to break the careflly curated fantasy.Think of Lori Harvey, who spoke about how she achieved her super-tone figure years ago after appearing on some red carpets. Lori has always been beautiful with an incredible figure, and I am happy she felt safe enough to share more about her workout routine and diet plan with her audience. However, after Lori talked about being on a routine diet with an intense workout plan, people lost it. I remember people accusing her of promoting restrictive eating and the classic being a "bad role model/influence to her followers" jab so many women in the media receive. Setting aside any personal thoughts on Lori's routine or diet plan, what I find to be captivating about this is the backlash to honesty. Almost all of the celebrities and public figures we follow who look amazing adhere to some diet plan with a beauty maintenance rotation (or get discrete plastic or cosmetic work) that would not be sustainable for the average woman to follow. 

To be clear, I don't think people should stop talking about fatphobia or providing guides on how to decenter whiteness as the default beauty standard. I am more so invested in the seemingly two worlds that exist at the same time. On the one hand, people get praised for looking like an ideal, but they can never be too open about what it takes to get there; then, on the other, there is a world where people (rightfully) demand more transparency around beauty standards or cosmetic procedures/plastic surgery while denouncing beauty ideals for their toxicity. I am often left wondering if I am the only one who sees this pattern and if I am the bad person for pointing it out or am I not thinking deeply about everything. I don't know what the solution is or even if there is one. All I can say is that if you, too, have seen this pattern, you are not alone, and if you feel exhausted by the ever-changing ideology of beauty, then again, you are not alone. To conclude, I want to briefly talk about why any of this matters to me. I said earlier that beauty is nuanced and complicated, and I mean that. I think we have seen time and time again what being beautiful can bring you. I constantly see stories of girls speaking about the way the world treated them once they became attractive. While I can be happy that they are happier, I also find their stories heartbreaking because being beautiful shouldn't be the only way to matter or receive respect! I also said that beauty is a bad investment, and I think that is also true. Beauty is fickle, and what our society deems the standard changes. Consider the early 2000s being about ultra-thinness, the 2010s rise of the bbl, and now the toned-gut healthy thin girl who does pilates, shops sustainably with her ethically questionable luxury bag, and buys groceries at Erewhon. The standard moves too often, and the goal is never to reach a set status but to constantly chase after it with your wallet, time, and mental energy.

The point is ideals change, and what is trendy now will fade or shift in 10 years, and that's fucked up. Beauty is good to invest in for yourself! The best advice I can give is to define beauty on your own terms and release the opinions of others with it. For example, some people will think you caved in if you get a nose job, and others will praise you for it. Do what you feel is best for you and research the best and safest options available! That's all you can do, and know that the pressure to be everything is real and intense, and you are not bad for needing help managing your feelings. Know that you are beautiful no matter what you decide, and beauty is not all that you are! How you look is never the complete picture, and you deserve love, respect, and dignity no matter your physical appearance! 

Below are some resources you can check out 🥰 Stay wonderful and Vibrant! 

Demi Moore Oscar image link- https://images.app.goo.gl/YFPKPp1KkAhPsR9e9

S.R. Cosmo

Live your life love! with Ease and Abundance!

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