Letter to the Editor

This month I asked my friends to submit questions for me to answer because I love the idea of adding in a letter to the editor section across my blog, podcast, and now consultant business. Growing up I would listen to talk shows everyday. I was enamored with the lives of the hosts and I would cling to every word they said whether I agreed or disagreed with their opinion. While I don’t have my own talk show, yet, the letter to the editor section is a way for me to think deeply alongside my more creative projects. Please enjoy this first addition of Letter to the Editor!  

Question: What's the secret to manifesting the long game? When you're putting all your energy and magic into making your dreams come true but it takes years if not months for everything to come into fruition? 

Honestly, I don’t believe I have a perfect answer to this question and I am nowhere near an expert on manifesting, especially long term manifesting. I am someone who can be impatient and let self doubt rule me to the point of inaction (I am working on this). Something I have been incorporating into my spiritual routine is remembering my why, developing a list of signs for affirmation, and limiting other people's opinions. All of this sounds easy and it is, but also, this type of spiritual hygiene requires practice and trusting yourself. In my opinion, starting with developing your why is crucial to start because you could be manifesting for the “wrong reasons” or letting other people's desires for your life lead your decision making. For example, when I was discussing moving to New York City right before my undergrad graduation, everyone who I thought was important and had the best advice spoke negatively about me moving. They would say it would be too expensive, I would need to make sacrifices which would make me uncomfortable, and  ultimately it would be too hard to do. Because I thought that they knew what was best, I let their opinions become true in my mind. I would say “yea, your right” and double down on self doubt. I would just take what they were saying at face value because these were the smart people who were supposed to believe in me, so of course they would never project or crush my dreams. These were my mentors and bosses and all around smart people who knew better. So what they said had to be true, right? It wasn't until I spoke with one of my closest friends (Naja) who told me to stop accepting what other believe to be true about your life as real. She told me to say “no” to their negativity and decide what moving to New York was going to look like for me. 

From that moment on, I decided that I was in charge of what was going to happen and with intentional prayer, building a relationship with my Ancestors and with the support of my biggest cheerleader, my lovely mom, I slowly began my journey of trusting myself more.

I started listening to myself, asking myself questions, and I keep confronting my biggest fears along with unpacking the self doubt that has been grilled into me from an early age. I started observing women who were in the life stages or positions that I wanted for myself, then I took notes on how they got there. I got honest with self- discipline and embraced being bold in what I went after (still working on this, but better than before ♥ ️). Most of all I stopped sharing my dreams with everyone! I focused on people who I trusted to speak life into me and would push me to keep going. I will not claim to be perfect at manifesting but I am so much more free with my imagination and I trust myself to make anything happen more than ever. 

Ask yourself, who is this manifestation for? I am guilty of wanting some of my manifestations to happen because it would prove people wrong. I know this is not an ideal motivator but I am being honest. As someone who has been counted out her entire life or felt like there was a glass ceiling to what I was allowed to accomplish, a part of me wants to be better to show everyone that they were wrong! Though I can acknowledge this part of myself I can not let it rule me. In my opinion, when your wants are fueled with the image of others who want less for you then you receive less in return. Ask yourself what do I want and where is this desire coming from and what am I doing to get there. What can I do in the moment, this week, or month  that will lead me to being where I want to be in the future. Small practices everyday is also something that I can struggle with but I always feel so much better once I do them. When I remind myself of my why, I get fueled with energy and creativity. Having a why that is rooted in your wants is key in manifesting long term. 

I would also say that what you might be manifesting could not be for you. 

This is hard to hear but it could be true. I remember back in undergrad I wanted to be student body President because I thought that was my destiny. I believed that would be the highest honor and the best way to uplift and empower my community. I believed that as President I could institute lasting change and cement diversity and equity as foundational values to student life across the university. All of this could have been true, but it was not for me. I am beyond happy that this was not for me! I LOVE so deeply who I am now and who I am now is due to going to therapy along with being rejected from something I so desperately wanted. Rejection is protection and while it may not seem like it in the moment, when you look back you will see how it saved you from bullshit. I don't mean to sound overly cryptic or give heavy water sign energy, but I am speaking the truth. During that time, who I was manifesting myself to be was a lesser version of myself now. One who was too shy to be bold, too afraid to be proud of who I am, and too concerned with others' opinions to embrace the fact that I am that girl! I was so wrapped up in other people's ideas of who I was that I wasn’t able to see who I could be. While I love past versions of myself, who I was in the past was a quarter of what I am today! 

Sometimes your manifestations are leading to nowhere because what you want is bigger than what you are imagining.  

Lastly, I would say what makes you think you are on the wrong path or that nothing is happening. This might be a bit optimistic and sound too woo woo as a response but I am serious. This is something I forget all the time! It is wild how people can tell me my life back to me and I am able to see how far I have come but in moments of self doubt I feel like nothing has happened. It can be hard chasing a dream or a passion but I have to remind myself that everything works out for a reason and sometimes goals can be in stages. For instance, I love the fashion and beauty industry. I adore the glamour and storytelling along with the creative imagination that comes with working in these fields. Right out of college I started looking for roles that would break me in and get me started in my idealized fashion and beauty career. To make a long story short, I wasn't finding anything and people were not responding. My resume looked too political and stuffy which isn't a bad thing but the companies I was applying to were not willing to take a chance on me. I even tried to shake things up and enhance my experience, IYKWIM, to get my foot in the door. Though nothing was working. Finally I decided to try a new angle. I focused on companies that would give me the targeted skills and experience I knew these companies would want and I haven't looked back. Since doing this I have worked for several companies and some of which have been in fashion but not yet beauty. I am okay with this. I am okay with my career looking a little different because every job I have worked has brought me one step closer to the career I have always desired in my head. My journey may look different from everyone else but I am happy that I am different. 

I hope this long ramble can help and most of all remember that what you want wants you with ease in return. As corny as this can sound, I promise you it is true. What I have wanted has always found a way to me and while the reality may look different that what I originally imagined, most times the reality is either just what I needed in order to to grow or is even better that what I initially anticipated! 

Finally remember to trust yourself and tell yourself everyday you deserve everything and are worthy of what you want, flaws and all, and all it will work out with ease and abundance!